Shelton Bumgarner
2006-02-01 14:57:51 UTC
Dear Gentle Reader,
Have you ever had an itch that you could help but scratch? Of course,
you end up scratching it so much that it bleeds, then eventually gets
infected, then you get gangrene then you lose a limb. Well, that's
kinda what's been going on in my life. Or, to put it another way:
Jean Valjean, a Frenchman imprisoned for stealing bread, must flee a
police officer named Javert. The pursuit consumes both men's lives, and
soon Valjean finds himself in the midst of the student revolutions in
France.
I feel like Jean Valjean, when it comes to what you're going to read
about. I stole some bread -- or in my case made a clueless swipe at the
French language about a year ago -- and to this day I find myself
trying to escape the verbal clutches of my very own Javert. No matter
what I do, no matter what I say, I have a pound of flesh I must give up
for my slander against the French language. (When I met Eric, I said,
"American's don't trust anyone who speaks French." I was making a joke
in reference to how John Kerry knew French very well and was thus bound
to lose against W. I'm sorry, Eric, for that ignorant quip. Can we go
home now?)
Anyway, so for a year I had an on again, off again hellish experience
with Eric. Eventually the immortal words, "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME" were
uttered and we didn't speak for the last two months I worked at our
common workplace. But, wouldn't you know it, just a few days ago Eric
decided that Jean Valjean had grown just a little too cocky and he
needed a swift kick in the butt.
I guess, in a way, there is a thrill of the chase that can't be put
aside. It's all so very important (at least to him.) To me, the very
fact that he communicated with me first after putting me through hell
of a stressful silence for a few months is "victory" enough to say
"closure" has been attained. But he writes some things that I can't
help but answer and thus get the whole ball rolling again. Shrug. I'm
sorry. I'm human.
Let's begin with what started his comment. I posted this over at
Migukin (www.migukin.com) and he felt it was about him.
I have given this issue some thought and I realize that to make Migukin
successful - and to shut up that one 300 lb guy out there that is the
source of all the Internet's bile - I need to be less "the Funny
Marmot's Hole" and more "What Does Lee Teacher Know A Lot About
Or Is Interested In To Such An Extent to Actually Have An Intelligent
Opinion About It."
So, the biggest change is I'm going to write less about Korea and
more about the world outside of Korea - but from an American expat in
Korea point of view. The site will be more of a reflection of my mind
and therefore probably piss fewer people off while entertaining more
people who understand what the heck is going on.
There is just one little problem -- it wasn't about him. I wasn't being
literal. But let's go through what he wrote bit by bit, just for old
time's sake.
2. Eric Says:
January 31st, 2006 at 4:37 pm e
The funniest thing is,
I'm thinking this is a reference to how I write. Eric has been reading
my blog(s) for a year now, so he knows how I write. That's something I
would say when writing something, "The funniest thing is.."
I'm the 300lb guy that he mentions and
this is the first time that I write in to this piece of poop blog
because I just never wanted to be associated to it.
Sigh. No where do I say his name. I swear to God I wasn't thinking of
any one person when I wrote the words "...and to shut up that one 300
lb guy out there that is the
source of all the Internet's bile..." Someone is getting a little
touchy. While I can understand why he might *suspect* I had him in mind
when I wrote those words, this time I am honestly innocent. I wasn't
being literal. I just fell that most of the Internet's bile seems
strangly similar and I pictured one overweight fellow being its source.
Shrug.
But wait, there's more!
But seems that I
have been dragged in. Sorry to burst your bubble Lee, someone else, or
others are the progenerator of your bile, not me. So, please stop
baming me for your crappy life.
Now, I have had several huge blow ups with Eric and he usually has a
cadence where he says three things in a row to prove a point. So
usually it goes, "yadda yadda yaddda, blah blah blah, yadda yadda
YADDAA!" This is the first bit of the cadence. Also, he's running with
the idea that I was thinking of him. Not true. One of the more
interesting things about all of this is I can't quite figure out how
much of his hatred for me is that he actually can't understand that
much of what I say isn't supposed to be taken literally and how much
he's just playing with my head to get a reaction.
I'm not the reason you got fired from
the Hogwon,
While it is true that the director he and I shared at the time decided
not to renew my contract, what happened is not what I would call "got
fired from the Hogwon." He did not terminate me in the traditional
sense, he just decided that I was not a good fit for the school. He
helped me a lot while I was looking for a new job and I'd like to think
we parted on something akin to god terms. Additionally, I wasn't really
all that interested in staying at the school by that point, anyway. In
fact, the two day, brutal screaming match we had had a large role in my
decision not to really worry all that much about if I got my contract
renewed or not. Unless, when he was negotiating HIS contract (which
ended before mine), he somehow was able to get me "fired" as a
condition of his re-signing. Then, I guess, he could say I got "fired."
Otherwise, not so much. Ironically, there is the possibility that had
Eric and I been on better terms, I would have tried harder to stay at
the hagwon. Given how much I enjoy my new job, however, I guess I
should thank Eric for being a fat bastard. (There are only two negative
qualities I've ever heard Eric admit to: being fat and being a bastard.
I think the actual statement he agreed upon was, "You're EXTREMELY
DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH." The combination of those two agreements are
close enough to "fat bastard" for my sake, at this point. A special
note for those of you who consider Eric a friend -- he's just a teddy
bear, don'tcha know. He wouldn't hurt anyone. Obviously, there is
something wrong with ME for Eric not to like me.
I'm not behind the neg comments on your blog (but I can
be if you really want me to!),
Do tell.
I'm no the one who annoyed the hell
out of your GF until she dumped your sorry ass,
See the cadence? To actually hear him do it is quite interesting. Very
telling. He's on a roll now. He's gone beyond the usual three cadence
into much more than that. You can tell he's really angry now. While I
will admit to be rather annoying at times, I regret to inform you,
gentle reader, that what he wrote is a lie. What he wrote is not what
happened at all. I experienced my breakup with my girlfriend first
hand, so I should know what actually happened. Therefore, I can only
deduce that he doesn't know what happened at all and his statement is
simply a ploy, a ruse to cause me to tell him what in, fact, did
happen. If my ex-girlfriend finds me so annoying, her behavior to date
does not indicate that. Even if what happen between us when we broke up
was some sort of Korean face-saving thing, his statement still is a
bold face lie. I have re-checked with my ex girlfriend to make sure
that I have not, in fact, lost my mind on the matter and she backs me
up -- what happened, happened. She didn't "dump my sorry ass" because I
"annoyed the hell out of her." When fighting, Eric loves...JUST LOVES
lies like this. He loves to tell lies that throw you off balance so he
can make a point that only later to you realize is simply not true. It
doesn't work as well here on the Internet, however, because I can
calmly look at what he wrote, fact check it and realize he's simply not
telling the truth...or is fishing for actual information.
I'm not the reason your family doesn't get along with you and I didn't
know you then
so how could I have been behind your miserable childhood.
This bit is just so ad hominem that I don't really have much of an
answer. What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? Or
the price of soju in Korea, for that matter. There are so many equally
ad hominem attacks that I could make against him, but I'm better than
that. I am disappointed, but not surprised that he is not.
I just read it to monitor that I don't get slandered too much
and this one crossed the line but yet you continue to poke the sleeping
bear... Move on Lee...
Huh? Someone thinks the world revolves around him a little too much. As
I said before, I honestly wasn't thinking of anyone in particular. I
swear, totally, totally swear I was just using a creative turn of
phrase. That's the key difference between Eric and me -- I often think
figuratively and Eric (I think?) can only think literally. The idea
that I would be thinking of just a general "300 pound dude" of my
imagination apparently isn't something he can understand. It boggles
the mind just a little bit that someone so smart -- and he is a very,
very smart man -- would not be able to understand that. Although, I
have give him props for the "Move on, Lee," bit. It gives him a
slightly statesmanlike air, as if he's taking pity on me.
And then, we have the final turn of the knife. I'm sure he's been
honing this one for a few months:
However, come to think of it it really doesn't matter cause no
one reads you anyways, and those who do, know that you know nothing.
OH THE HUMANITY! That's probably what he wanted to say for the two
months when the tension in the teacher's lounge was such that I
literally started to sweat because of it. Yes, it's pretty well written
-- it would have been much communicated verbally -- but still...it just
doesn't quite do it for me. If I'm a reader, I don't want someone who
thinks they know it all to be my narrator. I want someone who is
ignorant to begin with, just like me, but took the time to actually
find out what the deal is. I'm sure he spent a lot of mental energy on
that one sentence, but I honestly don't care. I still have a little
grin on my face, my ex-girlfriend is now my best friend and I'm still
not him! A-sa~~~
And lastly, there is the issue of why am I responding to all of this on
Usenet and not over at my blog where all of this happened.
Well.
Good question.
Eric took it upon himself to contact my ex girlfriend behind my back,
so I feel I am within my rights to do something equally underhanded.
He's a smart man, I'm sure he'll read this somehow. Yes, she was my ex
girlfriend when he contacted her, but she is still dear to me and it is
simply amazing to me that a family man such as Eric would do something
so....so....evil as to contact my ex girlfriend knowing I would find
out. I'm sure -- sure -- he was fishing for dirt or trying to figure
out a way to align her against me. Or, if nothing else, trying to get
me so angry that I would talk to HIM first so that he could say
something along the lines of, "However, come to think of it it really
doesn't matter cause no one reads you anyways, and those who do, know
that you know nothing," while he could still do it to my face.
As I may have mentioned, there is something exciting about having
someone you hate so much you are willing to chase no matter what. It
does kick in the fight-or-flight responses. And it's obvious that he
has significantly better people skills than I do -- he certainly has a
lot more friends -- so in that respect, he is the "winner" of all of
this. But in my heart of hearts, I know that no matter what happens in
my life, no matter how bad things get, I will always be me and he will
always be him.
It seems to me that while Eric is so interested, so obsessed with
controlling anything and everyone around him, the one person he can't
control is himself.
Why are you in Korea teaching English, Eric? What's YOUR story?
Have you ever had an itch that you could help but scratch? Of course,
you end up scratching it so much that it bleeds, then eventually gets
infected, then you get gangrene then you lose a limb. Well, that's
kinda what's been going on in my life. Or, to put it another way:
Jean Valjean, a Frenchman imprisoned for stealing bread, must flee a
police officer named Javert. The pursuit consumes both men's lives, and
soon Valjean finds himself in the midst of the student revolutions in
France.
I feel like Jean Valjean, when it comes to what you're going to read
about. I stole some bread -- or in my case made a clueless swipe at the
French language about a year ago -- and to this day I find myself
trying to escape the verbal clutches of my very own Javert. No matter
what I do, no matter what I say, I have a pound of flesh I must give up
for my slander against the French language. (When I met Eric, I said,
"American's don't trust anyone who speaks French." I was making a joke
in reference to how John Kerry knew French very well and was thus bound
to lose against W. I'm sorry, Eric, for that ignorant quip. Can we go
home now?)
Anyway, so for a year I had an on again, off again hellish experience
with Eric. Eventually the immortal words, "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME" were
uttered and we didn't speak for the last two months I worked at our
common workplace. But, wouldn't you know it, just a few days ago Eric
decided that Jean Valjean had grown just a little too cocky and he
needed a swift kick in the butt.
I guess, in a way, there is a thrill of the chase that can't be put
aside. It's all so very important (at least to him.) To me, the very
fact that he communicated with me first after putting me through hell
of a stressful silence for a few months is "victory" enough to say
"closure" has been attained. But he writes some things that I can't
help but answer and thus get the whole ball rolling again. Shrug. I'm
sorry. I'm human.
Let's begin with what started his comment. I posted this over at
Migukin (www.migukin.com) and he felt it was about him.
I have given this issue some thought and I realize that to make Migukin
successful - and to shut up that one 300 lb guy out there that is the
source of all the Internet's bile - I need to be less "the Funny
Marmot's Hole" and more "What Does Lee Teacher Know A Lot About
Or Is Interested In To Such An Extent to Actually Have An Intelligent
Opinion About It."
So, the biggest change is I'm going to write less about Korea and
more about the world outside of Korea - but from an American expat in
Korea point of view. The site will be more of a reflection of my mind
and therefore probably piss fewer people off while entertaining more
people who understand what the heck is going on.
There is just one little problem -- it wasn't about him. I wasn't being
literal. But let's go through what he wrote bit by bit, just for old
time's sake.
2. Eric Says:
January 31st, 2006 at 4:37 pm e
The funniest thing is,
I'm thinking this is a reference to how I write. Eric has been reading
my blog(s) for a year now, so he knows how I write. That's something I
would say when writing something, "The funniest thing is.."
I'm the 300lb guy that he mentions and
this is the first time that I write in to this piece of poop blog
because I just never wanted to be associated to it.
Sigh. No where do I say his name. I swear to God I wasn't thinking of
any one person when I wrote the words "...and to shut up that one 300
lb guy out there that is the
source of all the Internet's bile..." Someone is getting a little
touchy. While I can understand why he might *suspect* I had him in mind
when I wrote those words, this time I am honestly innocent. I wasn't
being literal. I just fell that most of the Internet's bile seems
strangly similar and I pictured one overweight fellow being its source.
Shrug.
But wait, there's more!
But seems that I
have been dragged in. Sorry to burst your bubble Lee, someone else, or
others are the progenerator of your bile, not me. So, please stop
baming me for your crappy life.
Now, I have had several huge blow ups with Eric and he usually has a
cadence where he says three things in a row to prove a point. So
usually it goes, "yadda yadda yaddda, blah blah blah, yadda yadda
YADDAA!" This is the first bit of the cadence. Also, he's running with
the idea that I was thinking of him. Not true. One of the more
interesting things about all of this is I can't quite figure out how
much of his hatred for me is that he actually can't understand that
much of what I say isn't supposed to be taken literally and how much
he's just playing with my head to get a reaction.
I'm not the reason you got fired from
the Hogwon,
While it is true that the director he and I shared at the time decided
not to renew my contract, what happened is not what I would call "got
fired from the Hogwon." He did not terminate me in the traditional
sense, he just decided that I was not a good fit for the school. He
helped me a lot while I was looking for a new job and I'd like to think
we parted on something akin to god terms. Additionally, I wasn't really
all that interested in staying at the school by that point, anyway. In
fact, the two day, brutal screaming match we had had a large role in my
decision not to really worry all that much about if I got my contract
renewed or not. Unless, when he was negotiating HIS contract (which
ended before mine), he somehow was able to get me "fired" as a
condition of his re-signing. Then, I guess, he could say I got "fired."
Otherwise, not so much. Ironically, there is the possibility that had
Eric and I been on better terms, I would have tried harder to stay at
the hagwon. Given how much I enjoy my new job, however, I guess I
should thank Eric for being a fat bastard. (There are only two negative
qualities I've ever heard Eric admit to: being fat and being a bastard.
I think the actual statement he agreed upon was, "You're EXTREMELY
DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH." The combination of those two agreements are
close enough to "fat bastard" for my sake, at this point. A special
note for those of you who consider Eric a friend -- he's just a teddy
bear, don'tcha know. He wouldn't hurt anyone. Obviously, there is
something wrong with ME for Eric not to like me.
I'm not behind the neg comments on your blog (but I can
be if you really want me to!),
Do tell.
I'm no the one who annoyed the hell
out of your GF until she dumped your sorry ass,
See the cadence? To actually hear him do it is quite interesting. Very
telling. He's on a roll now. He's gone beyond the usual three cadence
into much more than that. You can tell he's really angry now. While I
will admit to be rather annoying at times, I regret to inform you,
gentle reader, that what he wrote is a lie. What he wrote is not what
happened at all. I experienced my breakup with my girlfriend first
hand, so I should know what actually happened. Therefore, I can only
deduce that he doesn't know what happened at all and his statement is
simply a ploy, a ruse to cause me to tell him what in, fact, did
happen. If my ex-girlfriend finds me so annoying, her behavior to date
does not indicate that. Even if what happen between us when we broke up
was some sort of Korean face-saving thing, his statement still is a
bold face lie. I have re-checked with my ex girlfriend to make sure
that I have not, in fact, lost my mind on the matter and she backs me
up -- what happened, happened. She didn't "dump my sorry ass" because I
"annoyed the hell out of her." When fighting, Eric loves...JUST LOVES
lies like this. He loves to tell lies that throw you off balance so he
can make a point that only later to you realize is simply not true. It
doesn't work as well here on the Internet, however, because I can
calmly look at what he wrote, fact check it and realize he's simply not
telling the truth...or is fishing for actual information.
I'm not the reason your family doesn't get along with you and I didn't
know you then
so how could I have been behind your miserable childhood.
This bit is just so ad hominem that I don't really have much of an
answer. What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? Or
the price of soju in Korea, for that matter. There are so many equally
ad hominem attacks that I could make against him, but I'm better than
that. I am disappointed, but not surprised that he is not.
I just read it to monitor that I don't get slandered too much
and this one crossed the line but yet you continue to poke the sleeping
bear... Move on Lee...
Huh? Someone thinks the world revolves around him a little too much. As
I said before, I honestly wasn't thinking of anyone in particular. I
swear, totally, totally swear I was just using a creative turn of
phrase. That's the key difference between Eric and me -- I often think
figuratively and Eric (I think?) can only think literally. The idea
that I would be thinking of just a general "300 pound dude" of my
imagination apparently isn't something he can understand. It boggles
the mind just a little bit that someone so smart -- and he is a very,
very smart man -- would not be able to understand that. Although, I
have give him props for the "Move on, Lee," bit. It gives him a
slightly statesmanlike air, as if he's taking pity on me.
And then, we have the final turn of the knife. I'm sure he's been
honing this one for a few months:
However, come to think of it it really doesn't matter cause no
one reads you anyways, and those who do, know that you know nothing.
OH THE HUMANITY! That's probably what he wanted to say for the two
months when the tension in the teacher's lounge was such that I
literally started to sweat because of it. Yes, it's pretty well written
-- it would have been much communicated verbally -- but still...it just
doesn't quite do it for me. If I'm a reader, I don't want someone who
thinks they know it all to be my narrator. I want someone who is
ignorant to begin with, just like me, but took the time to actually
find out what the deal is. I'm sure he spent a lot of mental energy on
that one sentence, but I honestly don't care. I still have a little
grin on my face, my ex-girlfriend is now my best friend and I'm still
not him! A-sa~~~
And lastly, there is the issue of why am I responding to all of this on
Usenet and not over at my blog where all of this happened.
Well.
Good question.
Eric took it upon himself to contact my ex girlfriend behind my back,
so I feel I am within my rights to do something equally underhanded.
He's a smart man, I'm sure he'll read this somehow. Yes, she was my ex
girlfriend when he contacted her, but she is still dear to me and it is
simply amazing to me that a family man such as Eric would do something
so....so....evil as to contact my ex girlfriend knowing I would find
out. I'm sure -- sure -- he was fishing for dirt or trying to figure
out a way to align her against me. Or, if nothing else, trying to get
me so angry that I would talk to HIM first so that he could say
something along the lines of, "However, come to think of it it really
doesn't matter cause no one reads you anyways, and those who do, know
that you know nothing," while he could still do it to my face.
As I may have mentioned, there is something exciting about having
someone you hate so much you are willing to chase no matter what. It
does kick in the fight-or-flight responses. And it's obvious that he
has significantly better people skills than I do -- he certainly has a
lot more friends -- so in that respect, he is the "winner" of all of
this. But in my heart of hearts, I know that no matter what happens in
my life, no matter how bad things get, I will always be me and he will
always be him.
It seems to me that while Eric is so interested, so obsessed with
controlling anything and everyone around him, the one person he can't
control is himself.
Why are you in Korea teaching English, Eric? What's YOUR story?